I am typing this through bloodshot, swollen eyes. This morning, as I comitted to my usual 3 A4 pages of journalling, something happened that I did not expect. I found myself pouring out years-old trauma onto the pages. Things I had lived through, but not consciously processed. Events and their imapct that I had stuffed down, out of the way, so that I could go on living life and functioning as a capable human being.
This morning some of this trauma erupted, without warning from my body, where it had been camping out, patiently waiting for me to be ready to look at it, to understand it, to accept it and to heal it.
It wasn’t long before my tears joined the ink from my fountain pen on these pages.
The subject of my trauma isn’t really important and I suspect I will be revisiting this trauma many times before it is fully healed.
No, what I wanted to share with you on this Full Moon day is this…
My work, my calling is in supporting women and girls. Women’s work. I am devoting my life to helping others identify and heal their trauma, that they might achieve to their full potential in this life time. A huge part of my work with others lies in guiding them to reconnect with and heal their womb or womb space. And as my trauma burst forth this morning, a penny dropped in the back of my mind: I have been neglecting my own womb, and now she is speaking up.
For all the time and energy I have given freely to helping others on their path, I found myself having to acknowledge that I had ignored my own. It was time to change that and reconnect with my womb.
I have made profound changes to my life in the past 4 weeks and as I keep layering good habit on top of good habit, I was avoiding the habits I knew would have the deepest impact in the shortest time – womb work.
Why was I avoiding them?
Because healing is hard!
Healing is painful, it is exhausting, it is lonely. Healing forces things to the surface that we’d rather not look at, let alone examine and dissect. Healing brings discomfort and we hate to feel discomfort.
Healing is also necessary for me to achieve, experience and live the life I dream of.
Perhaps you have a dream of a bigger, fuller, truer life too?
Maybe your life is almost perfect, but for one or two niggling little irks?
Or maybe your life seems perfect, but you are still unhappy and unfulfilled?
Oftentimes, the thing we are best at giving to other people is the very thing we need ourselves.
Are you a good listener and so find yourself as the designated agony aunt of your community?
Are you great at organisation and find yourself being nominated as head of every outing, plan and celebration in your group?
Are you a natural caretaker, collecting plants, pets and humans in need to care for?
Are you an ace problem solver, handed endless challenges to unfold and attracting lost souls looking to be fixed?
Maybe what your soul needs is some of your own medicine.
Look inside and reconnect with your medicine.
Book a therapy session; designate tasks to others or plan a day out for you and you alone; hire a pet sitter for the weekend and book into an all inclusive spa, or, for the budget friendly option, ask a friend to cook you dinner; shift your focus to your own, likely neglected problems or have fun with your talent and turn your hand to solving puzzles.
…You get the idea.
Why not try asking your womb what will serve you best?
Each of us has many gifts and there are some that we feel called to use in service of others.
This is my gift to the world, we think. And we’re not wrong!
Yet, how easy it is to forget that we are part of that world too. In fact, I would argue that we are THE most important person in our own world, because without ourself, our world would not exist.
And we, ourselves, are deserving of our gift to the world.
Let us take it a little further… maybe you were given this gift because it is EXACTLY the gift that will nourish and heal your soul in this life…?
What a comforting thought.
It’s time to turn your self care and self love up a notch.
Go on, turn your talent inward and gift it to yourself 🖤